I can’t fathom how this year bumped along so slowly and at the same time so quickly.

As we wrap up 2024, I would have to say the slow down from being at home and spending more time with the kids has given me ample time to reflect on everything.

Perspectives on how to react to situations, being more patient with the kids+wife and even myself, and reconfiguring my career approach have really been highlights on how I was in this very insular, hyper-corporate-focused rat race.

Spending time out on the West coast and seeing what others do in nature has me wondering if that’s an element that’s been missing? Spending more time outdoors and away from the screens, less time worrying and more time enjoying and being intentional with each breath.

I am so thrilled with being outdoors and taking the time to be with nature I’m even considering getting a Rivian R1T so we can throw the bikes and crap in the pickup and go!

Nothing captures the essence of fall better than a fall photo shoot – something I’ve been consistently doing (even during COVID) since the oldest one was 2 or 3.

It’s nice to pause and reflect on the year as the winter slowly creeps in, and unironically I have found myself with more time this fall after being part of a corporate down-sizing at my last company. I have what feels like an unlimited amount of time with the kids, and it’s both a blessing and a curse for all of us. With this additional time the work around the house I’ve been delaying is finally getting done – even things like pulling up pictures and doing albums! I’m learning new skills like outdoor landscape lighting and other handy HVAC things like repairing our ever fickle Ecobee thermostats.

But a sense of unease envelops the family, both on a structural and emotional level. Structurally, the patriarchy of a man always working is tough to reconcile for not only me but the children. Having an omnipresent father is a novel idea, and clearly all societies and cultures do not accommodate for it. Recognizing that I am seeking employment while the children are heavily exposed to daily if not hourly interventions is just an odd space for me to be in. Emotionally, they have grown accustomed to my presence and an evolution in my attitude. Being present as a parent is extremely difficult in corporate America these days – add the omnipresent screens/devices, and children are often competing for their parents’ attention, rather than organically receiving it. I have noticed I’m more patient with them, likely because my patience is not worn thin for a daily grind of some sort. It has made me reflect on how parents really need to “shelf” their work and engage when they are done for the day.

As I explore this extended vacation, or mini-early-retirement, I’m hoping to evolve my relationship with the kids and make memories I wouldn’t have been able to make before. Possibly travel, or possibly just manage the extended flu – cold – RSV season.

A weird lifelong dream has been to visit and walk on an actual glacier…sadly these opportunities are rapidly decreasing due to the expanding climate crisis.

We had an amazing time on Mt Athabasca in Alberta, Canada last week. The frequency of traveling internationally with the kids has picked up and I’ve learned one simple fact: just do it, they will adjust.

We have come into an almost default travel mode with the car seats, snacks, entertainment needed to get us through either a 4-5 hour or 6-9 hour flight. The routine helps them also manage expectations. What I find even more fascinating is their desire for newness.

I don’t believe travel has any true negative consequences for children at all: they are exposed to different cultures (both native and the touring ones), exposed to different languages, and get an opportunity to explore. Obviously the financial toll of traveling adds up, beyond the fact you are managing them (not a camp counselor) intensely for 5+ days when going abroad.

My cousin who is a teacher does it right-they take the summer and just disappear. We joined them last year in Belgium, but skipped this year when they went to Portugal due to airline ticket pricing and the expected excessive heat. With that said I hope everyone gets an opportunity to disconnect from the daily and engage with your little ones, it’s not easy but it creates a culture of spending on experience over things, and allows nuanced, deeper bonding with them.

I can’t wait for more summer adventures locally, and already regret the start of the school year 😣

That was my attempt at a play on words, celebrating Deepwali or Diwali, the Festival of Lights, had me reflecting on the quick pace of the year. Change in job, kids got to travel abroad multiple times this year (from 0 to 6 in one year!), we are minding our carbon footprint more aggressively now (yes we will likely cut travel due to this), and massive emotional developments as they enter 4th and pre-K4.

The second child really forces you to reflect on how you either didn’t do it right with the first, or how different two little blastulas can develop.

Just pausing to see their personalities, how wonderful they are, and how smart they have become always makes me smile. I don’t know if it’s incremental investment that has paid off, or if it’s the schools, or if it’s all of the above-but truly enjoying it.

The travels have been tough given their burgeoning needs for space and ego, but they remain steadfast in semi ok behavior.

Now that I’m fully remote, I get to enjoy them much more. Except for weeks where my office is like this…

I do think the space is needed though, a little too much Dad can be a lot for them.

As we dive into tween years for the older one, we have remained strong in maintaining the need for music and other activities. He would rather play Fortnite and socialize with his friends on the basketball court; even drop out of school for a shot at the nba. But inspite of the tears, we persist on the basics: music, math, reading, and a love of art (in whatever dimension that is expressed).

Such a mix if emotions today after selling my Audi…it was the first car my son and I “picked together.” Though he was 3.

He was beaming and loved this thing, the growl and speed. So many memories.

I wondered today, was it the car or the memories? Was it the experience? Or was it the guilt? I promised I’d keep the car for him, but as the world and environment change, so do the habits and vehicles. I broke my promise.

He loves cars. Ever since he knew he did.

And since he was so young, I’d take him to races and enjoy the fumes. We would go to Lime Rock and he would delight in getting 1 unique Hotwheels too.

The chapter isn’t over, it’s just…a different chapter. I will miss the little toddler he was. The innocence. The lack of sleep. The cuddles and naps. Now, on the last day of summer, he is in his room, pissed about starting 4th grade tomorrow, and I’m emotional for what reason I’m unsure. The grow up fast. Your left with pics and memories.

Farewell Audi RS3, our rides and memories are with you forever.

Did summer begin already? A quick jaunt to Europe consumed nearly three weeks and tested the parental strength we thought we had amassed after all these years.

Lessons learned: do not do multiple legs within Europe, across borders via planes or trains IF you have kids in a stroller or car seat. The sheer weight of these items makes the cross border travails exhausting. Furthermore, no thanks to the state of affairs with airlines, assume delays and cancellations all summer; hence, you will be saddled with multiple car seats, strollers, bags, and kids in non air conditioned conditions trying to keep your calm.

With that said, testing everyone’s patience is teaching kids life lessons on how to manage adversity, because they will mirror your composure later in life. Immersion in other cultures has long term impacts on their ability to navigate diversity and inclusion as they get older; being American is great, but you really lack a true identity outside of the culture you connect with. Having them witness and engage with other cultures teaches them invaluable life lessons. The last element is around the sense of uncertainty and adventure: of you are home doing the same routine in the same country all the time, your scope is myopic at best. Having them navigate uncertainty without knowing a native language is truly an experiment and experience!

More adventures to come as our birthday season this summer begins…

The start of spring break is a great marker for inspiration to post and muse about the dark and cold winter.

After returning from India, we got to celebrate Sam’s birthday, which usually is the book end to winter. Ironically after she came back, it started a week or two long fury of snow and freezing temps. Winter got condensed into two weeks in the month of March.

The weather weakened and we got outside-twking Aarya to his first NBA game ever (vs Nets!), and making sure Krisha remembered how to bike (she’s remarkable).

The bigger shifts happened to me, leaving a large life science company I’d been at for nearly 10 years to join a small biotech with a mid tech footprint.

The new team is amazing, and I miss my old team dearly. Sam helped a little in my going away party-in a truly Sam way,

And just like that, the pandemic wound down…I’ve lost count how many times we have been sick with or without Covid, but the parent drain was real.

Real.

Real tough.

But part of my new year’s resolution was to shake off the funk the pandemic brought, and to emerge and share as a Punjabi Dad should…so we start this year’s first post with a Sprinf Holi pic with my daughter,

Clearly she’s grown, and as a child of the pandemic, having so many friends and adults around, not only overwhelmed her, but then we played loud foreign music and threw colored dye on each other!

No better time to get them back into the game of being human than Holi…

The reality of adulting and parenting during COVID is that you never have time anymore; you’re either knee deep in work, or knee deep in managing kids, or managing the people managing your kids.

Every now and then we do get away though, and vacation are absolutely the worst idea in my opinion with kids if one of them is under 5.

I know not a popular opinion, and we do it for them, but there is no room for relaxation and in fact because you’re out of your element, the kids are more clingy. That’s when you take them to the beach…

I returned to work for about 6 weeks before we were all locked down due to the novel Corona Virus (COVID-19, C19).

Before C19, life on the weekends was intimidating because we had the kids without a school or nanny. Our new world since March 17 was one where we balanced 2 careers, one 1 year old, and a Kindergartner at the same time.

I think adults were slow to adapt…kids were more flexible. And bless them for handling our mismanagement of everything. He took the virtual schooling well, and it continues to this day as he’s in 100% virtual schooling for first grade.

We did have fun though between calls and school, so just a few pictures to capture the glass-half-full of C19…